You’ve heard a lot about mediation, but how does it work?
Mediation is becoming increasingly popular among divorcing couples as an alternative to litigation. Often mediation leads to both parties being more satisfied with the results of their divorce. Divorce is a no-win situation, but going through a divorce or separation in an amicable way is better for the couple and the family as a whole.
In mediation, a divorcing couple will meet with a neutral third party (who should be an attorney who is also a mediator) and reach decisions about disputes in their divorce or legal separation.
The mediator is there to facilitate the discussion between the two parties. The mediator who is also an attorney may suggest solutions based on what other couples have done under similar circumstances, or what might happen if the disputes were taken to a divorce court.
It’s hard to overstate the benefits of a mediated settlement over a litigation battle. Some benefits are obvious – mediation saves money and saves time. Some are not so obvious – successful mediation develops positive conflict management. But there’s little doubt that everyone involved in a divorce is better off discussing their issues and developing a solution themselves.
WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OF MEDIATION?
The most obvious advantage of successful mediation is the cost savings. For a good lawyer to walk into the courtroom with you will cost about $40,000. Certainly not every case costs this much, but there’s no doubt that fully litigated cases can easily cost between $15,000 and $50,000 per person. Mediation, on the other hand, may run you as little as $4000 in total and at the most around $7000. The difference between the cost of litigation and mediation is saved money that can be used for the children, college expenses, pay off debt, or just to start fresh in life. It may turn out to be the best investment you ever make.
The least obvious, but in many cases, the most important advantage is that during your divorce, you will be learning how to manage conflict. With litigation, you learn to manage future conflict by going to court and battling it in front of a judge. With mediation you learn that negotiating takes two, that you can be flexible, and that a deal you work out is better than some judge’s random decision.
MEDIATION CAN BE USED IN THE COUPLE’S FUTURE AS WELL
Managing future conflicts is especially important in cases involving kids. It’s so important to learn to work together for their benefit.
In divorces involving children, it’s highly likely the parties will need to come back for modification or other issues at some point in the future, particularly when the children involved are younger. Sometimes, parents come back for a modification of support, other times it’s for a change in the parenting time schedule. But the reality is that any order crafted for young children is likely to need modification in the future. Mediation is perfect for that as well.
If the parties have used mediation successfully once, they are likely to use it again. Have faith in the mediation process! A successful mediation helps resolve disputes now and in the future.
Mediation in this day and age is even easier. Nights and weekends are now convenient for all given video conferencing which is also a perfect way to mediate without leaving your homes.
MEDIATE DON’T LITIGATE, IT’S THE KINDER GENTLER WAY
