WHAT HAPPENS WITH OUR PROPERTY? FINANCES? IN A DIVORCE OR SEPARATION?Mediation can help!

by Robyn D. Weisman, Esq. LLM.

We’ve all seen friends or family members endure long drawn out divorce battles with aggressive lawyers who seemed to escalate the conflict more than resolve it.

What you may not know is that there is a kinder, gentler way to divorce or separate. Divorce mediation involves the help of a neutral third party. This method requires the couple to work together to divide their assets and talk finances!
 
What you will need to bring to a mediation or at least review:

· Pay stubs, plus statements for savings, checking, and retirement accounts

· Mortgage balances, credit card statements, and childcare expenses.

· As my clients will attest my line is “everything you own and owe”

The more information you share with each other, the less emotional the process will feel. It can be hard to fully trust a spouse you’re divorcing, since you would not be ending the marriage if you were on the best terms. But if you trust your mediator and the process, that will go a long way toward keeping your emotions out of it.

What is equitable distribution?

New York is an equitable distribution state when dividing property during divorce. What does that mean? It means that all marital property will be distributed equitably, which is a fair division of all the assets and debts acquired during the marriage. So to figure this out, we have to decide whether specific possessions or assets qualify as separate or marital property. This will determine how property will be divided during a divorce.

Once the property has been designated as separate or marital then the fair distribution can occur. Various factors are taken into consideration when distributing assets including the incomes of the parties prior to and at the beginning of the divorce, duration of the marriage, need to occupy the marital home, loss of inheritance or pension rights, maintenance awards, future financial circumstances of each spouse, tax consequences, dissipation of assets, contributions as a non-wage earner to the income of the spouse and home, and the character of the property itself.

All of this can be discussed in mediation!

Tips when it comes to mortgages:

· You may want to find out if the mortgage you have is assumable

· One party may buy out the other; do you need a mortgage? Can you qualify for one in your name alone?

· When applying for a mortgage or refinance during a divorce or separation you will need either a fully executed separation agreement or divorce decree in place.

· In order to use income from child support and/or maintenance to qualify, it must be documented as received usually for 6 months and continuous

· If you can’t qualify on your own think about adding a non-occupant co-borrower

· All of this can be discussed in mediation!

What happens with Retirement Plans?

In planning for your divorce, a look at the retirement accounts will typically show that these funds represent a good portion of a couple’s assets and savings. These can be in the form of 401K plans, IRAs, Thrift Savings Annuities and retirement pension plans. Division of these funds can be crucial to balancing a couple’s assets. Some may want to evaluate to plan a buy-out of the parties other personal and real property. For this, an actuary or pension evaluator is a key asset in determining the value of one’s pension, since it is not defined. Your divorce mediator on Long Island or divorce attorney can help in locating a pension evaluator to have the plan evaluated. At Divorce Mediation & Family Services we work with an efficient and effective pension evaluator to assist us in this process.


The mutual goal: to finalize the divorce without spending a fortune on legal fees or becoming enemies. It will work! Find a mediator who you are comfortable with and who knows the law. And you will find the kindler, gentler way to separate or divorce.

Robyn D. Weisman, Esq., LLM., Attorney, Mediator, Collaborative Lawyer, Director of Divorce Mediation & Family Services of New York, Ltd. 631-465-2140 serving all of New York