Is Divorce Mediation Right For You?

 

IS MEDIATION RIGHT FOR YOU?

Posted by Robyn D. Weisman, Esq. on April 27, 2023


                                              


Divorce Mediation is a kinder, gentler way to enter into a divorce or separation. It is much less expensive, much more amicable and much quicker than a traditional courtroom battle which is becoming less the norm.

But is it right for you?

When it comes to families with children, family law over the years has changed significantly. Both parents are more inclined to play an active role in their children’s lives. In mediation we encourage parents to develop “parenting plans” that meet the needs of the children and the parents, allowing both parents to spend a substantial amount of time with their kids. Co-parenting plans focus on the children and their needs and take away the “custody” battle. Although divorce is an end to the marital relationship, the parental and family relationship continues. Mediation is designed to promote communication and therefore can help families establish their new- post-divorce relationship and life.

Because mediation is a less contentious process than a courtroom divorce, couples without young children find their way into mediation as the process focuses on negotiation. The division of the property and assets with the help of a neutral third-party helps to develop an amicable resolution and one that meets the concerns of the parties. A mediator is required to be a neutral party and works with the couple for the good of both parties.

Mediators address the following: equitable distribution of assets and debts, spousal maintenance (alimony), health insurance, and parenting plans.

Is mediation right for you? 

Unless there are issues of protective orders or spousal abuse mediation is the better alternative. Even with those issues now that video-conferencing is an option parties can feel safe in their own environment

 
* Mediation reduces conflict between the parties and can even improve their relationship. 

* It saves time and money and provides the couple with the opportunity to independently reach agreement.

 
* Mediation generally offers a more cost efficient and time efficient means of resolving divorce disputes.

 
* Now with the addition of zoom and video-conferencing mediation is especially well-suited as an effective alternative to litigation because it can be done while maintaining social distancing and more convenient times and locations.

* Having an attorney who is a trained mediator is an added benefit as your legal rights will be protected and the legal paperwork can be accomplished.

  
* Communication with the assistance of a trained mediator and between parties can lead to a mediated conclusion that is beneficial to all involved.

Robyn D. Weisman, Esq., Attorney, Mediator, Collaborative Lawyer, Director of Divorce Mediation & Family Services of New York, Ltd. Serving all boroughs of New York City and Long Island 631-465-2140 

robyn.weisman@yahoo.com, www.divorcemediationandfamilyservices.com

Disclaimer: The information obtained at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation. We invite you to contact us and welcome your calls, letters and electronic mail. Contacting us does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please do not send any confidential information to us until such time as an attorney-client relationship has been established.

MEDIATING YOUR DIVORCE THROUGH ONLINE TECHNOLOGY: IT WORKS

 

MEDIATING YOUR DIVORCE THROUGH ONLINE TECHNOLOGY: IT WORKS

by Robyn Weisman, Esq.


           

The coronavirus pandemic caused significant changes in the lives of all of us. More and more people had to go virtual, in business, in the court system, with friends and family, and especially with divorce cases. But since the pandemic and life has opened up, we have found in divorce and separation cases, virtual divorce mediation works!

Between our demanding jobs, managing the household, and if you have children, the kids' homework, and activities, we are stretched thin. Now add a divorce process into the mix. Online divorce mediation works for a number of reasons.

Convenience:

Online divorce mediation allows people to participate from anywhere. I have had clients, as well as myself as the mediator, be on vacation, business conferences, or travelling for any reason still participate in the mediations.



Parties who are living in different locations geographically can still attend mediations. The ability to mediate while not physically together is also helpful in cases that involve fear or apprehension of being in the same room.



Time efficiency and Cost savings:



Not only does online divorce mediation save the time of travel for all of those concerned, you can now be in the comfort of your own home or office. All you need is a computer, phone or ipad!



Hours:

Because mediation can be done from home, virtual mediation does not need to be restricted by traditional business hours. In my practice, we have added nights and weekends for convenience.



Privacy:

We take the process seriously in terms of privacy and in that regard, the mediator who hosts the meeting requires the parties to wait in a virtual waiting room when they sign on. The mediator then allows them each and only them to enter the video conference. Uninvited guests cannot inadvertently join in.

How does it work?

Very similar to mediations face-to-face a highly skilled, neutral mediator, will help you and your spouse through our divorce mediation process where he or she will help you identify, discuss, negotiate and resolve all of the issues required for your uncontested divorce including parenting plan (formerly known as child custody), child support, if you have children, spousal support if any, and the division of marital property.

But instead of the three of you sitting in the same room together, the two of you will be in your own separate location(s) and connect with your mediator via phone, computer or iPad.

Why Mediation?

Mediation is a process which can be helpful for both parties to have their views heard by a third-party mediator who is neutral and who can be completely objective.

Other benefits of mediation include the fact that it is often less expensive than each party hiring an attorney and fighting over the dispute in court, and in most cases, it is also much less time-consuming. Mediation sessions also tend to be more flexible and less stressful for all involved than having disputes resolved in court. With an attorney who is a mediator you can save a great deal of money and time in the process.

Mediation can also be helpful and beneficial for couples who have begun the process of obtaining a divorce but have not finalized the divorce yet. A mediator can help you and your spouse find solutions to parenting issues and newly arising areas of dispute.

The mutual goal: to finalize the divorce without spending a fortune on legal fees or becoming enemies. It will work! Find a mediator who you are comfortable with and who knows the law. And you will find the kindler, gentler way to separate or divorce.

Robyn D. Weisman, Esq., Attorney, Mediator, Collaborative Lawyer, Director of Divorce Mediation & Family Services of New York, Ltd. 1-631-465-2140 with offices in Nassau, Suffolk and New York Counties.

The Dollars and "Sense" of Divorce

 

Divorce Mediation: The Dollars and “Sense” of it

Robyn D. Weisman, Esq.








There is no question that ending a marriage is difficult. What happens to your children, if there are children is probably at the top of your list of concerns. Just as you made choices in deciding to end your relationship you are now faced with a whole set of choices about your children, your retirement, your “things” and your pets.

Life is about choices. Each party must make choices about how to respond. With all of these choices and decisions, the last thing you need is to throw thousands of dollars into attorney fees for a divorce where these decisions may be made by you with the help of a mediator.

Mediation v. Litigation. Litigation is the standard response when discussing divorce, but the cost, delay, and distraction of full-blown litigation make other alternatives worth examining seriously in your decision to divorce. As an attorney who used to litigate divorce and as a consultant mediator in Family Court, I have seen myriads of cases where families are torn apart, or couples are spending their hard-earned money on months and sometimes years of court appearances and litigation on issues they really don’t even care about. On occasion the principles at stake are so important that litigation is worth the risk and burden. Litigation may be the only option if one party is not amenable to a more reasonable method of resolving the conflict. But in most cases it is preferable to avoid litigation and seek mediation to resolve your conflicts.

The benefits of mediation are most dramatic when compared to the long-drawn-out process of litigation.

Benefits:

· Divorce mediation helps preserve a relationship with your spouse and reduces the tension for the sake of your children. If there are children, remember you are parents forever.

· Typically, you will be more satisfied by having arrived at your own “solutions” to the problems as opposed to having a judge make the decisions for you.

· Mediation is significantly less expensive than a litigated divorce.

· If the case goes to court, the cost may be three to five times as high — or more.

· Mediated divorce cases typically take considerably less time than a litigated divorce- typically months maybe even years shorter.

· Clients are given the control to determine the schedule instead of relying on a schedule chosen by the attorneys and the very back-logged court system. This makes divorce mediation much faster than family litigation because the case doesn’t rely on the court’s schedule.

· Creative problem solving instead of settling for the “norm”. Whereas in Court time constraints don’t allow for the time needed to arrive at creative or “different” solutions to meet the needs of each family, mediation allows for parties to arrive at what works for them and test agreements to see how they work. Parties can then make changes after seeing how these agreements work in practice. You make the decisions you can live with.

· Divorce mediation is confidential and private. Clients discuss the important issues in the privacy and comfort of the mediator’s office. Don’t pay a fortune to make decisions in crowded courthouse hallway, the Courtroom or less desirable location. Don’t pay a fortune to have decisions be forced upon you when you can and will make your own decisions in mediation.

 
     Clients always have the choice to litigate if mediation is unsuccessful. At least you didn’t start by emptying your bank account to begin the process. It’s much more difficult to mediate after litigation has flared up emotional conflict and made it harder for spouses to communicate and trust each other.

Consider all of these factors when you’re deciding between litigation and mediation. Call your mediator now to find out more.

Contact Divorce Mediation & Family Services of New York for more information, robyn.weisman@yahoo.com

www.divorcemediationandfamilyservices.com

631-465-2140

Disclaimer: The information obtained at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation. We invite you to contact us and welcome your calls, letters and electronic mail. Contacting us does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please do not send any confidential information to us until such time as an attorney-client relationship has been established.

ZOOM: The Benefits of Online Mediation

                            

ZOOM: The Benefits of Online Mediation

Between demanding jobs, managing a household, and the kids' homework and activities if you have kids, there’s no doubt you’re stretched thin. Now take your already hectic life, add a divorce into the mix. Wow! Overwhelming?

Convenience is a necessity: Since the outbreak of COVID-19 in March 2020, mediation and many court proceedings are done over zoom or E-Courts. We have found that meeting with clients exclusively via Zoom has shortened the time it takes to mediate a divorce. The E-Filing system in the Courts has made it easier and more effective way to get your uncontested divorces.

Do you need to be sitting in the same room with your mediator and your spouse, hashing out the details of your settlement agreement? Technology has advanced so much in recent years and has paved the way to create an expedient, professional and convenient way to get a mediated divorce. And it works so well!

Why Divorce mediation? Divorce Mediation will get you a fair and thorough agreement tailored to your unique needs and circumstances and help you avoid a destructive and expensive divorce in court. In fact, our process enables 98% of our clients to reach a private, out-of-court, negotiated agreement each year and avoid litigation.

What have we found with online divorce mediation? Not only can the mediations be done during more convenient times, like nights and weekends, another advantage we have recognized from Zoom meetings is that our clients are more civil towards each other and are coming to agreements quicker. This is likely due to our clients not having to take time off work travel for meetings together, sometimes not having to be in the same room, and the ability for them to mediate from the comforts of their home. Instead of all three sitting in the same room together, the two of you will be in your own separate location(s) if you choose to be and connect with your mediator via phone, iPad or computer. Screen-sharing is easy and effective for documents as well.

Over the past couple of years of meeting with clients via Zoom, we have found a cost-effective and civil approach that has proven to be more beneficial to our clients in terms of cost, time, civility, and an overall more positive divorce process.

How does it work? Just as if you were mediating face-to-face in our office our attorney/mediator, neutral mediator, will guide you and your spouse through the comprehensive divorce mediation process, identify, discuss, negotiate, and resolve all of the issues required for your uncontested divorce including parenting plan and child support if children are involved, alimony, dividing marital property, etc. An attorney and only an attorney can then in New York, process the legal paperwork on your behalf.

What services do we provide? Our services include pre-judgment divorce mediation, post-judgment divorce mediation, un-contested divorces, and family mediation. We also offer parenting coordinator services.

Mediation is kinder, gentler way to divorce or separate. With years of experience in the 
Courts, working as a mediator in Family Court, and with a psychology background, we
are able to work through the issues and find the options which best serve your family.
The goal is to divide assets fairly and equally and to advocate for your children’s best
interests in as few sessions as possible.

Remember, no one wins but the key is to be peaceful and come to a solution that works
for all. It the mediator’s goal to help you stay focused on the goal of separating
peacefully.

Robyn D. Weisman, Esq., Attorney, Mediator, Collaborative Lawyer, Director of Divorce Mediation & Family Services of New York, Ltd. Serving New York City and Long Island 631-465-2140, robyn.weisman@yahoo.com, www.divorcemediationandfamilyservices.com

ZOOM: The Benefits of Online Mediation

 

                           



Between demanding jobs, managing a household, and the kids' homework and activities if you have kids, there’s no doubt you’re stretched thin. Now take your already hectic life, add a divorce into the mix. Wow! Overwhelming?

Convenience is a necessity: Since the outbreak of COVID-19 in March 2020, mediation and many court proceedings are done over zoom or E-Courts. We have found that meeting with clients exclusively via Zoom has shortened the time it takes to mediate a divorce. The E-Filing system in the Courts has made it easier and more effective way to get your uncontested divorces.

Do you need to be sitting in the same room with your mediator and your spouse, hashing out the details of your settlement agreement? Technology has advanced so much in recent years and has paved the way to create an expedient, professional and convenient way to get a mediated divorce. And it works so well!

Why Divorce mediation? Divorce Mediation will get you a fair and thorough agreement tailored to your unique needs and circumstances and help you avoid a destructive and expensive divorce in court. In fact, our process enables 98% of our clients to reach a private, out-of-court, negotiated agreement each year and avoid litigation.

What have we found with online divorce mediation? Not only can the mediations be done during more convenient times, like nights and weekends, another advantage we have recognized from Zoom meetings is that our clients are more civil towards each other and are coming to agreements quicker. This is likely due to our clients not having to take time off work travel for meetings together, sometimes not having to be in the same room, and the ability for them to mediate from the comforts of their home. Instead of all three sitting in the same room together, the two of you will be in your own separate location(s) if you choose to be and connect with your mediator via phone, iPad or computer. Screen-sharing is easy and effective for documents as well.

Over the past couple of years of meeting with clients via Zoom, we have found a cost-effective and civil approach that has proven to be more beneficial to our clients in terms of cost, time, civility, and an overall more positive divorce process.

How does it work? Just as if you were mediating face-to-face in our office our attorney/mediator, neutral mediator, will guide you and your spouse through the comprehensive divorce mediation process, identify, discuss, negotiate, and resolve all of the issues required for your uncontested divorce including parenting plan and child support if children are involved, alimony, dividing marital property, etc. An attorney and only an attorney can then in New York, process the legal paperwork on your behalf.

What services do we provide? Our services include pre-judgment divorce mediation, post-judgment divorce mediation, un-contested divorces, and family mediation. We also offer parenting coordinator services.

Mediation is kinder, gentler way to divorce or separate. With years of experience in the 
Courts, working as a mediator in Family Court, and with a psychology background, we
are able to work through the issues and find the options which best serve your family.
The goal is to divide assets fairly and equally and to advocate for your children’s best
interests in as few sessions as possible.

Remember, no one wins but the key is to be peaceful and come to a solution that works
for all. It the mediator’s goal to help you stay focused on the goal of separating
peacefully.

Robyn D. Weisman, Esq., Attorney, Mediator, Collaborative Lawyer, Director of Divorce Mediation & Family Services of New York, Ltd. Serving New York City and Long Island 631-465-2140, robyn.weisman@yahoo.com, www.divorcemediationandfamilyservices.com

The Emotional Ride of a Divorce or Separation

The Emotional Ride of a Divorce or Separation

By Robyn Weisman, Esq.


                    


Ever take a ride in an amusement park? Your adventure goes from nerves, to fear, to relief, and then, wow, that was ok, not as bad as I thought! All the emotions involved in a roller coaster ride you feel as you go through a divorce or separation. In a divorce there are ups and downs, twists and turns, moments of high anxiety and then eventually clarity, freedom, and relief.

Are these feelings normal?

· Doubt

· Know what you need to do but ambivalence

· Thankful now you can take care of yourself

· Sadness

· Excitement about possibilities

· Fear of the future

OWN YOUR FEELINGS: THEY ARE TOTALLY NORMAL  

How do you get through it?

· Create a support system, people who will not judge, make you feel bad or confused, but people who will lift you up and you can rely on

· Allow yourself to have feelings, take it one day at a time, all will be ok

· Allow yourself to miss your spouse or the life you had, but realize there is a future and a bright light ahead

· Go see a professional if you need to. Therapy can help you through the days and months ahead

· Create a new chapter of life in your head and start getting excited over the new experiences that are and may be in store for you

· Get to know yourself again, what did you used to like to do, what brought you excitement and step into it again

· Celebrate your winnings, each step taken, allow yourself to be proud

Robyn D. Weisman, Esq., Attorney, Mediator, Collaborative Lawyer, Director of Divorce Mediation & Family Services of New York, Ltd. Serving New York City and Long Island 631-465-2140, robyn.weisman@yahoo.com, www.divorcemediationandfamilyservices.com

We’ve all seen friends or family members endure long drawn-out divorce battles with aggressive lawyers who seemed to escalate the conflict more than resolve it.

What you may not know is that there is a kinder, gentler way to divorce or separate. Divorce mediation involves the help of a neutral third party. This method requires the couple to work together to divide their assets and establish child custody arrangements, and at the same time preserve a decent relationship throughout the process.





Getty Images/iStockphoto



In your first session, it’s ok and very normal to feel anxious. Fear, sadness may be creeping up on you during the first session as well. But the mediator is there to put you both at ease. The basics are covered and in my practice, the children, if there are any, are discussed first and will usually bring us all to a common ground. With years of experience in the Courts, working as a mediator in Family Court, and with a psychology background, we are able to work through the issues and find the options which best serve your family.

The goal is to divide your assets fairly and equally and to advocate for your children’s best interests in as few sessions as possible.

What you will need to bring or at least review:

· Pay stubs, plus statements for savings, checking, and retirement accounts

· Mortgage balances, credit card statements, and childcare expenses.

· As my clients will attest my line is “everything you own and owe”

Beyond dividing up assets and making arrangements for children, mediation comes with heavy emotions.

The more information you share with each other, the less emotional the process will feel. It can be hard to fully trust a spouse you’re divorcing, since you wouldn’t be ending the marriage if you were on the best terms. But if you trust your mediator and the process, that will go a long way toward keeping your emotions out of it.

It’s key that you go into mediation fully prepared to compromise — beyond what you may have expected.

Remember, no one wins but the key is to be peaceful and come to a solution that works for all. It the mediator’s goal to help you stay focused on the goal of separating peacefully.

The mutual goal: to finalize the divorce without spending a fortune on legal fees or becoming enemies. It will work! Find a mediator who you are comfortable with and who knows the law. And you will find the kindler, gentler way to separate or divorce.

Robyn D. Weisman, Esq., Attorney, Mediator, Collaborative Lawyer, Director of Divorce Mediation & Family Services of New York, Ltd. Serving New York City and Long Island 631-465-2140, robyn.weisman@yahoo.com, www.divorcemediationandfamilyservices.com